I tied Nicole up and threw her into the passenger seat of my car and drove her 44 miles out to the nearest Bass Pro Shop. I wanted to go look at over/under shotguns. Not sure I was going to buy anything for myself, but to make myself feel better, I was going to make sure Nicole got something. Even if it was just a wedge of fudge from the "home store" section, or a simple wool sweater she was coming away with something.
When we parked, I untied Nicole and we walked into the store. Much to my surprise, she thought the store was cool! I thought she would be bored, but she really liked it.
We made our way upstairs to the "hunting store" section and started looking at the shotguns. Adam came over and offered to show me a couple of guns so I started looking at a few different ones. It came down to two guns I was interested in, the Baretta White Onyx, and the comparable one from Browning. We told Adam, we'd think about it and come back.
Nicole and I did a lap around the store all the while discussing the possibility of purchasing a shotgun. And strangely enough, it was Nicole trying to convince ME, not the other way around! Every now and then I have trouble with big purchases. When I bought my truck, I had buyers remorse for a few days. I was getting good at having buyers remorse before even paying for the item!
Needless to say, Nicole convinced me to buy the gun. We went back to the counter, and Adam, trotted about trying to find the carrying case and getting all the paperwork ready for the big purchase. He went in the back with the gun to find the box. He found the box, brought it out to the counter, but left the gun in the back. He went back to get the gun, but came out with the paperwork instead. Swore under his breath and then went back to get the gun. I was quite a little show.
He swiped my credit card and rung up the gun. I then proceeded to fill out the paperwork while he entered my information into the data base. The government, you see, likes to keep very good tabs on all weapons sold. So I had to spell out every single word on the official paperwork, it wasn't "Daniel K. Boland" it was "Daniel Kamiano Boland". It wasn't "Dabney Ave.", it was "Dabney Avenue". It wasn't "10-25-1969", it was" October Twenty-Five, Nineteen Hundred Sixty Nine".
Now, my driver's license has a bit of an anomaly. The zip code that was printed on the drivers license is "00000". I've contacted the DMV to get this problem rectified, but they seem to have no concern with fixing it. Adam had one look at it and had to consult his manager. The manager said to, "Enter '00000', the information in the data base MUST match the information on the card," Except the computer wouldn't take "00000". He then told Adam to just get a copy of my vehicle registration when I come back to pick up the gun.
Come back to pick up the gun? Can't I just give the information now and take the gun home so I can polish it?
Apparently, there is a 10 day waiting period on all guns in the state of California. I thought it was just for handguns. I was going back on tour in 2 days and I wasn't going to be back for 3 months.
Long story short, I don't have a Baretta Black Onyx. All I have is a case of "Buyer's Blue Balls". I got all worked up, only to walk out of there empty handed.
And Nicole didn't buy anything either.
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