Jesus Was a Carpenter...

I, however, am not.

I'm not comparing myself to Jesus, but he is the most famous carpenter I can think of. And I can't drill three holes in the right place.

Our tale starts two days ago at load-in in the city of Buffalo, New York. I was at my position at Front of House, setting up cases at they rolled in. As one of my console cases approached, I noticed that one of the runner boards (a piece of wood attached to the case on the bottom for support) was broken and tearing off. Before I set up the console, I removed the wood and it's three bolts and took it to production to get a new one cut.

Later that day, the runner returned with 6 freshly cut pieces of pine. I stored them in my case for the next load-in.

Flash forward to yesterday, Detroit, Michigan. The case with the missing runner rolls in. I figure, how hard can it be to drill three holes and bolt on a new piece of wood?

Harder than I thought. I took the fresh piece of pine and placed the edge along the three bolt holes. I took a pencil and drew a dot, where each hole was. I then took another piece of wood and used it as a straight edge and drew a line down the center of the dotted piece. I then made crosses from the dot to the center line, to indicate exactly where I needed to drill. Simple right?

I got Mel's drill and two drill bits, drilled the first holes then countersunk halfway into the wood with the second bit. That way the bolt heads wouldn't be sticking out. Pretty smart for a non carpenter.

I went back to the case and drove the first bolt. The first hold I drilled was a little too small so the bolt was tight. No big deal I thought, just means it will be tighter to the case. But then it all went horribly wrong.

I got in the second bolt, and then discovered that the third hole I drilled was wrong! I thought had just put the piece on upside down, so I unbolted it, and turned it over. And it still wasn't right! What the hell!?!!! The holes are exactly where I drew them! How is this wrong?

Whatever, I've got six pieces of wood, I can just drill another one. So I repeated the process, measuring twice and drilling once to make sure the holes were in the right place. I used a bigger bit to make sure the bolt wasn't tight. AND STILL, the holes were in the wrong place!

I'm not a carpenter. Sorry, Nicole, guess I'm not building our dream house, we'll have to hire a contractor.

4 pieces of wood and 16 holes later, the runner board is only held on by two bolts. I got tired of drilling holes in the wrong place. I'll let the shop deal with it in July when the gear finally returns home. Unless the new runner board breaks off, then I'll try again.