Ho! Broke da Mout!

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I'd like to open today's blog with an apology... Jade, I'm sorry, I've not been writing my blog everyday while I was in Hawai'i. I'm hoping you aren't grumpy and have taken that well deserved break in the work day that you need. If I don't write a blog on a particular day, please feel free to browse eBay for 15 minutes and tell your boss I said it was okay.

Thank you... And now, a broken mouth...

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Our last day in Hawai'i... Seems like it was only a few days ago. Oh wait, it was a few days ago. After our sleep on Maui, and then the rest we had to take in Hilo after our sleep on Maui, we took a day trip to the Hawai'ian Vanilla Company to the lunchtime tasting that they hold. Nicole, who is a vanilla fanatic, found this place on the internet and decided it was the one thing we had to do on this whirlwind trip. That, and have a lava flow (fruity boat drink involving rum, not the molten rock that spews from a volcano).

The adventure begins with Nicole, my brother and his wife, piling into our rented SUV and driving to the farm which is in Honoka'a, an hour drive from downtown Hilo, hour and a half from my brothers house in Hawai'ian Acres. We left the house in what we thought was plenty of time only to arrive half an hour late.

One of the great things about Hilo and the east side of the Big Island is that it is still mostly undeveloped. And one of the worst things about Hilo and the east side of the Big Island is that it's mostly undeveloped. It's nice that there's only really a couple of two lane highways that connects Hilo to Kona. But when you are following large 18 wheeled trucks uphill, both ways, It's not good times. You really slow to a crawl, and a one hour trip can easily turn into two. "Hawai'ian time" is a nice concept, except when you are told that they will start serving food without you and you're starving.

But I digress...

As we neared mile marker 36 where we were to turn off the highway and head uphill, I asked for directions. Fortunately for me, none of us thought to print out the directions. We all chose to remember "mile marker 36" because how often do you get directions by mile markers? Mile marker 36 came and went and we still had no idea where to turn. I took the next available left and shot up into the mountains. I was only off by one road. We took a quick detour and saw the welcoming sign "Hawai'ian Vanilla Company 3 miles".

As we headed further uphill and further into the rain forest, I could feel my blood pressure lowering and relaxation setting in. Many people come to Hawai'i looking for the beaches and laying out in the sun. Very few people know about the amazing rain forests and hiking that Hawai'i (all the islands) have to offer.

We cross a small one lane bridge over a gully and off to our left is a quaint yellow house. A very understated sign lets us know, we've arrived and where the entrance is. We were, of course, half an hour late, but we called ahead and they sat us immediately.

The entire place has a very low mellow smell of vanilla. We walked passed the gift shop and into the dining room, where we met our waiter.
He offered us vanilla iced tea or vanilla lemonade. The four of us opted for the lemonade and off he went to get our drinks. I don't think he was a very good waiter. He couldn't bring us four mugs at once! He had to make two trips. And of course, I got the last glass of lemonade. I think he's got to work on his serving technique. But I'm not bitter, I was sitting in a comfortable chair around a table with family.

We weren't the first to arrive, nor were we the last. There was another four-some seated when we showed up and they had already started on the first course. Then the owner came out, and with a little help (little, get it?) from the waiter began to serve us the first course. I looked the owner dead in the face and shouted, "You were in West Side Story!"

"Oh, man, that was 16 years ago." He replied.

For those who don't know, I started my illustrious career back in high school. I started out as an actor because I saw a few plays and decided that acting was a great way to kiss girls because they had to kiss back on stage. Not unlike that great movie from the 80's, "Kipperbang". If you can find it on DVD, rent it and watch it. It's really fun.

But I digress...

The acting career didn't amount to many kisses so I started working backstage in lighting (which amounted to lots of kissing!). That's when, pardon the expression, a light bulb went on, and I found my true calling. Since then, I was involved with all the plays that happened at my high school, even after I graduated. And in 1990, I was master electrician for the community production of, West Side Story.

Jimmer, as I knew him back then, is now the owner and operator of the Hawai'ian Vanilla Company. He played Tony, the lead, in West Side Story. He proceeded to stay away from our table as much as he could during the meal. Only coming over to check if we were fine. He left the serving to our waiter. Guess shouldn't have yelled at him.

After our appetizer course was finished, and all the patrons (who were also late) were seated, Jim (as he's called now) introduced himself and introduced us to the wait staff who turned out to be his children. The youngest (and our waiter) being five. They were all home schooled and helping out with the lunch service was "hospitality class" and they were being graded. Jim invited us to relax, his daughter was going to play some music while the other kids served the next course.


It was like a page ripped out of The Sound of Music. As we received our next courses, the daughter played and the second youngest sang. It was really nice, if not surreal. Here we were tucked back in a rain forest on the mountains in Honoka'a, one hour away from a Hilo town, eating an incredible organic meal, being serenaded during the meal. Really, I'm in Hawai'i?

After the dessert was served, Jim gave a quick speech about the vanilla bean. Just some quick facts about vanilla that I found interesting...

-The vanilla bean is the seed of an orchid plant. Which makes the Big Island of Hawai'i the perfect place to grow it, because it's known as "The Orchid Isle".
- There is only one vanilla bean farm in all of the United States, and I was sitting at it. Most vanilla is grown in Madagascar.
- By simply adding alcohol to a split vanilla bean, you can have vanilla bean extract in 8 weeks (we're gonna soak ours in vodka).
- Jimmer can't sing "Maria" anymore. But that has nothing to do with the vanilla bean.

After the speech, Jim invited everyone to blow all their money at the gift shop and then meet outside in 20 minutes for a walking tour of the farm. We, unfortunately could not join the walk because we had to catch our flight home.

Jim came and sat with us for a while and we talked about West Side Story (I thought he was avoiding me). Turns out, he met his wife on West Side Story and are still together to this day (she does all the cooking). He's still a great human and a real inspiration for taking on the challenge of growing the vanilla bean and raising an amazing family. Gives Nicole and I hope we can do the same if we ever move to the big island. The raising a family part anyway. Nicole and I are terrible gardeners, much less farmers.

We piled into gift shop and set fire to our credit card(I have a nice stinky hand lotion now), then piled into the SUV and headed back to Hilo to get to the airport. Hopefully, the traffic will move faster...

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This blog wouldn't be complete with out picture of the amazing food we had for lunch that day. Everything that was served was organic and locally grown, if not on the vanilla farm itself, but from local growers on the big island. Of the 5500 independent farmers in Hawai'i, 5000 of them are on the Big Island alone. No wonder Hilo has such a great farmers market...

All the food was also made with vanilla...


This was the starter plate. Three little portions the one on the right was a samosa made with vanilla. I don't remember the other two. But they were good!



The second course, straight from the menu, "Organic greens and sprouts with a Vanilla Caesar Dressing, Golden vanilla grilled corn bread with honey butter and house made strawberry jam". The cornbread, to die for!




"Big Island Slow Braised Beef in Kona Lager and Vanilla, With skillet fried organic corn, haircot verts, somen noodles with vanilla butter and white wine cream, a tangy barbecue sauce drizzle and topped with a cambozola beer batter fritter"
Ho! BROKE DA MOUT!




Nicole's favorite part of any meal (including breakfast)... dessert. "Our deconstructed take on the campfire favorite, S'mores. A decadent brownie topped with Hawai'ian Vanilla Bean ice cream, house made roasted marshmallows, and graham crumbs, drizzled with fudge and caramel." I didn't eat mine. I just smeared it on my love handles. That's where it was going to go anyway, may as well save myself the trouble of chewing.