I have traveled to the holy place, and was a little disappointed.

Some people travel to Mecca.

Other people travel to the Jerusalem.

I, traveled to the West Edmonton Mall.

We had a day off yesterday in Edmonton. Where the largest indoor mall in the world exists. Anywhere that claims to be, "Alberta's number one tourist attraction", or even better, "The 8th Wonder of the world", I gotta check it out.

I've said in the past, what attracts touring personnel to malls is the fact that it's the one constant you can find on the road. Every city is different, every gig is different, but in every mall, you are sure to find a food court, an music store, a book store, a toy store and a Gap.

But this, this 8th wonder of the world, it has to be different. And it is, but not in a shopping sense. Don't get me wrong, this sucker is huge! It took me three hours to walk from one end to the other and back. This includes the standard stops at the food court, the music store, the book store, the toy store. But not The Gap, they don't make clothes for fat people. This mall is so big, it actually has a "bad part of town". Or at least that's what I called it. On one end of the mall there was a couple of tattoo and piercing parlors, a smoke shop sporting a large marijuana leaf, a paint ball course, bingo hall, a shooting range, and a store that sold fancy car rims (They spinnin!). But for the most part, the stores at the West Edmonton Mall (WEM for short) you can find in any mall, any where.

What sets this one apart is the entertainment.

There's an exact replica of the Santa Maria. Which is supposed to attach to the "Deep Sea Adventure" ride. Which looks a lot like the old submarine ride at Disneyland. But for some reason, it's closed at the moment. I think it's been closed for a while because one of the subs was covered with coins that people had thrown in the water. Now it looks like the Santa Maria can be rented out for private parties because on the main deck were tables covered with nice table cloths and the aft deck had chaffing dishes. I wonder if they were serving traditional sea voyaging foods.

There's even a sea lion pool and show called "Sea Lion Rock" (how original!). Unfortunately, the shows were at 2 and 4 PM so I missed them.

Halfway down the main drag is a full size ice rink. It's got the lines painted for ice hockey, but no safety glass around the rink. I'm going to assume they only have little kid games played there. There's also an amusement park called "Galaxyland". In it, are a couple of fun looking roller coasters that intertwined with each other. I personally did not ride either of them. I wanted to, but the fellow I was with was afraid of heights. Bummer.

There's also a large indoor water park with a massive wave pool. There were super tall slides that wound around and even one that seemed to plummet from 3 stories high. As you can see, there weren't many people having a day in the water. Perhaps because it was a Monday. Or perhaps because it was a nice day out.

Or perhaps because most of the entertainment at the WEM is designed for those long cold winter days. Similar to the Mall of America outside of Minneapolis/St. Paul, the bulk of the entertainment is geared toward families. I'm sure it gets pretty cold up here in the great north, and entertainment probably gets pretty scarce when there's a few feet of snow outside. Any chance to strip off the parkas and jump into a warm pool is probably very inviting around January or February. I hope I'm never up here to find out.

So all in all, I was a little disappointed with my trip to "shopping Mecca". I actually think I like the Mall of America better. It may not take up 42 city blocks, but it's 4 stories tall, which makes if feel bigger. If you look at the roller coaster picture above, you'll see where the ceiling is in the two story WEM. Feels a little claustrophobic.

...

Today, we're in Grand Prairie, Alberta. Until I do a show in Alaska, this will be the furthest north I have ever traveled on the North American continent. Cold morning is turning into a nice day.

Tomorrow, over the Canadian Rockies and into Prince George. A little further south, and a little further west.