Back in April, I had a bit of a health thing happening. For some unexplained reason, I had a really sharp pain in my abdomen. I went to the Kaiser urgent care twice in one week. The first time, the doctor thought I was constipated because the X-ray she had done seemed to show a little bit of "blockage". She sent me home with a stool softener and told me to come back in three days if the pain didn't get any better.
It didn't get any better. The second time (and second doctor) recommended an abdominal CT scan. He didn't see anything wrong on the CT and thought it might be muscle strain and that I should take it easy (and take ibuprofen).
A few days after the CT scan, I felt fine, but I had already set an appointment with my regular doctor, and went to consult with her. Although the CT scan showed nothing that would contribute to my abdominal pain, the doctor who "read" the CT scan (this would be a 4th doctor), found an anomaly, I had excessive "nodes" in my abdomen. My doctor explained that it could just be a result of what ever it was that was causing the pain, it could just be something my body just has, or it could be a sign of something greater. She ordered a second CT scan be done 2 months later. If the nodes shrunk, or disappeared, it was due to what ever caused the abdominal pain, if the number and size stay the same, it's probably just me, and if the number or size increase, there could be something else.
Flash forward to last week Thursday. I had my second CT scan set up. I check in with reception. After a few minutes a nice male nurse took me back to the triage room to "prep" me by putting in a catheter and and making me drink this:
Barium Sulfate to act as contrast for the CT scan. I had to drink two bottles in 15 minutes (I know there's four bottles in the picture, you'll find out why in a minute), and then wait an hour for the Barium to run it's course through my system. So I went out into the waiting room and drank my Scan-C (it tasted like a watered down vanilla shake). When I sat down I noticed this: 
What the hell, man? Blood on my nice German desert flectarn camouflage pants? I don't normally look when they poke me with a needle, but I also don't normally bleed out onto my pants. Either I have great blood pressure, or the nurse was a little slow in capping the leak.An hour later, another nurse called me back to the triage room, had me strip down to my underwear, put on 2 hospital gowns, and wait in the CT scan waiting area. Why two hospital gowns? I like this method actually. You put one on backwards and the other on forwards and you are completely covered up. Even a fat guy like me.
Soon the CT tech came and brought me into the scanning room. For those of you who've never had a CT scan done in your life, the scanning machine is this huge thing with a hole in the middle. It sort of looks like this:
Except the hole is smaller and you are lying down. While you are lying down, they pass you back and forth a few times through the hole to take the "scan".When I got into the room, the tech started doing her final checks. She informed me that they were going to inject me (through my bloody IV) with iodine to act as another contrast for my circulatory system. She then asked me if I had an allergic reaction to the iodine from the last CT scan I had. I replied that my skin got a little flushed, like a sunburn that day, but by the next morning it had gone. She scrunched up her nose and said, "That doesn't sound good. Did you report it?" I told her no, because it had gone away the next day. She wanted to be sure so she called in a doctor to consult (my 5th doctor of this tale).
He told me that because I hadn't reported it, they weren't sure what caused the reaction and that I needed to take a series of pills (I think low dose steroids) a day before I have a CT scan. Which means I cannot have a CT scan today and must reschedule and come back.
What? I just bled all over my pants, can't we just do this and I can go home? Negative come back on Saturday. But this time to a different radiology department. The one in the actual Kaiser hospital, they're open on Saturday. Doctor number 5 then called my regular doctor and had her write the prescription for pills and I could pick it up and any Kaiser pharmacy.
The nearest pharmacy was across the street so I went there. The prescription hadn't been turned in yet, but if I just had a seat, I'd be called when it was ready. An hour and a half later, I had a big bottle with 15, small 10mg pills in it, and a small bottle with 50, large 50mg pills in it. I had to take the 15 small pills over a 13 hour period before my CT scan, and then one, and only one of the large pills one hour before the scan. Explain to me again why I had to buy a bottle of 50 pills?
All this fun in 5 hours.
So on Saturday, I came prepared for a long day, I brought a sudoku book and was ready to sit and wait.
I showed up at the hospital 15 minutes before my appointment time, I was immediately escorted back to the CT scan waiting room, drank my 2 bottles of Scan-C (that's why I have 4 bottles), waited exactly an hour, changed into my double robes, went to the scan room, had a scan, and was sent home after changing back into my street clothes. I wore woodland CADPAT pants this time.
Done in an hour and a half.
Now I just wait for the results. I'll let you know what happens.
Oh, and here's a real CT scanning machine. Although the one I was in was made by General Electric and not Phillips. I'm just to lazy to find a real picture on the interwebs.
And if you don't get the title of this blog, "Barium - What You Do With A Dead Body", try this, "Bury Them - What You Do With A Dead Body". Not as funny....
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